New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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