MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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