i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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