# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
