what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
