I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
