I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
