shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
