Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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