He is an equal opportunity slut.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
