some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
