you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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