she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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