Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
