Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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