It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
