Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
