Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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