i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
