People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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