Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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