**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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