I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i need to put some appletini on your dick
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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