We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
