Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
