We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
