I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
