There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
