I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize