Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize