I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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