Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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