I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Alive.
So much puke
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
