smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Will exercising make me less horny?
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