I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
