Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
