im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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