In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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