Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
