Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize