you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
