My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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