chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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