Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
