I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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