I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
