Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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