Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
