Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ladies don't puke and tell
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
