Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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