i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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