I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My vagina is very pro this idea
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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