I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
