Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
