hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
