What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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