So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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