So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
